'How Do I Know If I Am In A Dysfunctional Relationship?'

How Do I Know If I Am In A Dysfunctional Relationship?

No one likes to think of themselves as being in a dysfunctional relationship, but at one time or another, all of us have experienced these feelings. We all do it wrong until we learn how to do it right. Here a few things to think about. Dysfunctional relationships make you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself -

1. You always feel resentful. If you’re always resentful, you’re in a dysfunctional relationship. Being resentful means you are doing things on a daily basis that you do not want to do.

2. And that makes you very angry. Anger is very unattractive and is really sadness flipped unpside down.

3.You have a walking on eggs relationship. You are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always afraid of what the other person’s response might be. You tip-toeing around waiting for the "right" time to talk (there never is a right time).

4.You feel more and more isolated. You stop talking to friends and family because you are ashamed and embarrassed to keep repeating your story.

5.You doubt yourself – what you at one time knew to be true you now are unsure of. As your self-esteem drops, you are less and less sure of yourself.

6.You have become “less” (than who you really are) to stay in it. The whole reason to be in relationship with another person is that you can be more. The feeling is “crank it up”, not tone it down.

If you are less than what you know (in your heart) you can be – you are in a dysfunctional relationship. (to be continued)

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I don't know what to do. I have been married to her for a long time, and I have just about had enough of her controlling me. It seems I can't say anything without her screaming and putting me down. I feel trapped. For years I thought this was normal, but now I see that it is not. I need help to try and figure this out.

I have been in a 4 year relationship and I feel like I ended up with a bully. He is a recovered addict/alcoholic 14 years sober. I feel he uses that to validate things he does. As long as he's not using it's okay. I'm tired of fighting just to get treated with respect. It's a rollercoast ride I feel trapped. I feel embarassed.

All 6 of these points apply to me. I am very surprised and saddened by it. Despite my feelings of being hurt over and over, I also feel like I cause problems unnecessarily. How does one deal with being hurt, but also feel like they hurt in return? I feel like a horrible crazy person and I don't know if it my own mental issues or if it is due to my relationship. What if it is all my fault? I am so confused.

My biggest problem is always being blame for everything. He is a addict/ clean now for 3 years. He uses that as excuses for everything. He is very insecure, he hates when I go over my mom house, even though he denies it. We argue everytime I want to go out with my girlfriend, but at the end I stay home because it would be a bigger argument or he would follow me just like in the pass. This is everytime. And he is always asking, What is going on? I know something is going on? I need help

I just got over a relationship that was like this. I too thought that it was ME who was totally in the wrong. My mistakes were crimes. He didn't respect me and he was bitter about his own life. So after breaking contact and recontacting and breaking it again so many times I promised myself that this was the last time and that I would never contact him again.

The problem I have now is that I have remorse for things that he hated me for and still want to be with him! AS if I can not find anyone else who could love me. LOTS of people do. Sometimes I think I hold on to wanting to be with him because His birthday is in a few days and it has been hard for me not to want to contact him. I can't seem to find myself wanted to be with someone new either even though I have not seen him in months. this sucks.

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